Okay, I have now been to two funerals in less than a week. One of which I worked (ran sound), the other I went to in supprt of a friend. I did not actually know either of the deceased; one was a PE teacher at a local school that does a lot with my church and the other as I said was the father of a friend.
Much like everyone else (I think), going to a funeral kinda throws me into this self evaluating state…Am I making the most of the time that I have? Am I a good friend? Son? Brother? Husband? Father? etc, etc. But this week has actually caused some other mental stirrings. You see the first funeral brought forth the self evaluation (which can be hard), but yesterday during funeral number two my self evaluation had already recently been done and my brain had to go somewhere. So here is the question that surfaced: Why are people so afraid of funerals? I know your probably saying…well Jacob, funerals are depressing, sad, and as you already said self-evaluation can be hard; why would you WANT to go to a funeral? But I ask in repy, Why are they so depressing and sad? I know that at funeral number one the gentleman that passed away may not have ever had a relationship with Christ, and that is a sad reality; however, his funeral was such a cool celebration of his life…it was obvious that everyone there truly loved this man and that he had made a positive impact on many lives. And listening to his life stories really were inspiring. Then at funeral number two, there was no doubt that the gentleman had a great relationship with Christ which was a point of celebration. Beyond that, almost everyone that stood behind the mic told story after story of how much joy this man brought into the world. Where is the depression in that?
Now, don’t get me wrong, I know not all funerals are for men or women that had an amazing effect on a great number of people, but I do think that almost all people will have some story in their lifes that will stretch those of us who are there willing to hear. For instance, I learned yesterday that if you put a little gun powder in an ash tray it will flare up when someone taps their lit cigarette in the tray…I also learned that if you put too much gun powder in there it will catch their clothes on fire. Seriously though, I learned of a man that could find laughter in all parts of life, who lived with enough self confidence that others were drawn to whatever he was doing. And last Friday I was challenged by a man who strived to live a life of giving, who would run and walk for cures, who would do whatever it took to help his students succeed.
Above all of that…this last week both funerals had a fair amount of people come to pay their respects…that was pretty cool. I have been to some funerals where there is almost no one there. And I realize that the deceased may not have had many relationships, but I guarantee you that the family of that person has quite a few. My point, funerals offer us an opportunity to be humane. Yesterday there was a group of us from my church that went to the funeral; only a few actually knew the father that had passed. The rest of us were there for our friend, and although he was surrounded by grieving family and could not really break away, it was obvious that our being there meant the world to him; he even found a way to talk about his “family at West Cobb” while talking about his father; pretty sure that wasn’t planned either.
So here is the ‘challenge’…Next time you have the opportunity to go to a funeral, whether you knew the deceased, or are just friends with the family, GO. Alow yourself to look past the excuses; I don’t have time, it will just be depressing, I didn’t even know the person…GO. Go expecting to be challenged by the persons life. Go knowing that your presence will be appreciated and that you being there sends a message of love that no Hallmark card can contain. Next time just GO…
-Jacob
